FWB

I had a conversation with a few friends last weekend about casual romantic encounters and the ability to become physically intimate with someone without necessarily being emotionally attached to them.

It was late Saturday night, so I don’t think I was as articulate as I should have been. Which is why I hope they read this essay by Joel Walkowski. He brings up the same issues with much more eloquence than I had. For example, on transient romance:

For my generation, friendship often morphs into a sexual encounter and then reverts to friendship the next day. And it’s easy as long as you don’t put yourself on the line or try too hard.

And more, on expectations and maturity:

Maybe it’s just that we have learned nothing can compare to the perfect moment of the unexpected hookup — wet lips on the beach, lying in the sand — and so we aim to accumulate as many as possible. Or maybe we’re simply too immature to commit. That has been the rap against guys forever, but now women think the same way. With the world (and the world of sex) at our fingertips, it’s difficult to choose, to settle, to compromise.

I’d recommend reading the whole essay not only for Joel’s insight, but for its lyricism as well. And then let me know what you think of it.

I don’t like you in that way

I’ve always found it easier to make friends with women. That’s just the way I am — I feel more at ease with members of the opposite gender.

I’ve always told myself that my close connection with my female friends has nothing to do with attraction. Sure, some of my closest friends are remarkably attractive, but that does not mean, in any way, that I’m interested in the romantic sense.

So I’m not sure that this quote is really accurate:

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you’re a great guy, but I don’t like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we’re not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we’re going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn’t work out, we’ll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

I’ve asked a few other guys about this, and it turns out that they agree with the quote. Does that make me an anomaly? Or am I just in some serious denial?

Speaking in tongues

I recently joined the cast for a small community theatre production. As part of my role, I need to spend a good chunk of the production speaking in a Central Asian accent.

If you’ve never tried to adopt a realistic foreign accent before, you’d be surprised how hard it is to learn.

These links came in handy, at first:

• Speech Accent Archive
• International Dialects of English Archive

In the end, however, the best way to pick up an accent is to become completely immersed in the language and culture.

A few nights ago, I went out to a Persian nightclub right after rehearsal and met a new ‘friend’. Some may call it unnecessary salaciousness; I call it character study.